love me for my flaws and all

via michellephan.com

It's been a family tradition for years now that my sisters and I help out for Valentine's day at my mom's flower shop.  Like usual, it was extremely busy.  As soon as I step foot at the shop at 8:30 a.m. until I left for dinner with the bf at 7:30 p.m. there were constant swarms of people waiting in line.  We had boys and men buying flowers for their girlfriends, wives, or even mistresses!  It was a good feeling providing service for these people in love, who were willing to spend almost a bill on a mere dozen of roses.

The day went smoothly until I had my second to last customer come in at 7 p.m.  She wanted a dozen red roses but we ran out, so she was willing to settle for pink roses.  I made the same special for her I was making all day for everybody else.  She looked very bothered as I spent the last ounce of my energy completing the arrangement and making small talk with her and her daughter.  It took me 15 minutes and as soon as I told her there was a tax charge for using a credit card, but none for using cash (an Asian thing).  She rhetorically said, "why would you charge me for tax too when I didn't even get the colors I wanted."  I kindly told her that it was the end of the night and that was all we had and that the pink roses were still fresh and pretty.  A part of me was thinking how I would much rather sell this batch of roses to someone who would appreciate it . . . I mean nobody forced her to "settle" for anything.  She paid me and as I turned around to put the money in the register, she says "you know what, I can't do it, I don't want it."  I told her that's fine and turned around and took the money back out of register and gave her money back, and she left.  My work of art just sat there on the counter looking rejected and I stood there looking dejected.

For some reason I was so upset!  I don't know if it was because I was so tired from such a long day, or because she was the first person that rejected my floral arrangement, or because I felt insulted that she didn't like it, or because I was mad she made me go through the entire process just to realize that she really didn't want pink, or because her negative energy killed my night, or all of it combined.  Luckily, a couple minutes later a guy came in and didn't hesitate to buy it.  That did make me feel slightly better, but I must say that I was still bothered through dinner with my boyfriend.  I was feeling so negative I almost got mad at him for wasting money on one of my Valentine's gift- an overpriced Burke William gift certificate.  While he was telling me that I never know and I might enjoy it because of the stresses of law school, I was looking at the card and read "this gift card is nonrefundable" . . . out loud.  Yes, b*tch mode.  Because I am so fortunate to have such a forgiving boyfriend, he let it go and took the comment with a grain of salt.      

Reflecting on all this, I realized that this was a major flaw of mine I needed to work on . . . I cared too much what people thought and worried about the dumbest things that it not only affected me, but my relationships.  I cared too much for little incidents like this that should remain within it's designated time slot and not have it seep into any part of the remaining night with my boyfriend.  It was Valentine's day and I was being such a downer.  I tried the whole "fake it 'till you feel it" during dinner so I could enjoy the rest of the night.  Ultimately I was in a better mood with the help of Merlot . . .

Writing about all this now, it sounds so dumb, but everything felt so much more magnified in the moment . . . So moral of the story?  Don't ever let petty incidents like this drag on longer than it has to, be a better customer because customer service is a tough business to be in and, of course, be a better girlfriend.

Happy (late) Valentine's Day.