Please Review in 2016...

It's been a rough couple weeks, but I have decided to take a pause from my schedule and discuss my goals for the future. I always believe that whatever card people end up being dealt with in life, we go further when we know where we're going and how we plan to get there. So this is technically a "new year, new you" kind of entry. I am almost a month overdue since 1/1/11, but I wanted to ingrain all this on some tangible medium before I turned the big two-five… which isn't really big at all for the wise whose lived much longer. Then again, every stepping stone is a milestone for me. I don't know how many times in my past I have written a Life Goals list and threw away and rewrote again and again, but nonetheless, I am currently where I want to be (despite my rants and grumbles). So here goes.

Age	Goal
25	JD/LLM in progress
26	Graduate, Pass the bar Work for the IRS for 3 years
27	Work--- Engaged
28	Work ---Married
29	Work---First Kid
30-35	Open Tax Boutique Firm

That's fairly realistic right? I have made the conscious decision of striving to get into the IRS 3-yr Honors Program post grad for many reasons. Mainly for (1) stability so that I can pay off my tuition (which God knows how much I owe and how much interest has accumulated) (2) balance so that I can jumpstart my career yet be able to balance my personal life the first couple years (and the IRS gives people that type of lifestyle, unlike BigLaw firms which I can just forget about having a life and ignore my maternal ticking clock); and (3) experience to later be able to branch out on my own with as much knowledge as possible. Of course I can control getting my degrees and passing the bar (and maybe forcing that boyfriend of mine to save up for a ring already and remind him that he has 2 years to come up with a fairy tale proposal), but everything else- only time, sweat and luck will tell.

So there you have it, my future looks brighter already… I can stop sitting around and wondering what I'm doing and why.

Inspired.

I know I can. I know I can.

Love,

Nat

Odd Girl Out.

Ever since I got into the joint JD/Tax LLM, I have been surrounded by older, wiser and more experienced students in my small classes. Imagine a small classroom of less than 20 people, where everyone either has worked or is working for the Big 4 accounting firms, already has their JD and or CPA, and can answer (if not challenge) the professor's questions without a blink of an eye. I, on the other hand, am still getting my JD and have no accounting background for the life of me. I mean, it was easy in Federal Income Tax 1 to get an A+ when the people around me are at my level… but here, I jumped into a pond of sharks. I study so hard for these tax classes, but no matter how much time and effort I put into it, I still feel like the dumb one in class who doesn't belong. Tax is such an intricate and technical subject (Heck, even Einstein said it was one of the most confusing things to understand) and not everyone can just wake up one day and say "Hey, I think I'm going to be a tax lawyer"…. Ummm, but that's exactly what I did. I so desperately want to just take the easy way out and be a normal lawyer with a plain vanilla JD degree… but a big part of me knows I can do it, even if it takes looking like the dumbest person in class each day. Today, as I tried to grasp the lecture and the pace of the class , I subconsciously felt like Elle as a whole bunch of Vivians are mocking me (in their heads)… But Elle proved them all wrong right? Right.

Love, Nat

Useless Post.

Oh 2011, how you have creeped up so quickly on me.

I never thought I would turn a quarter century until you finally came. As you await your attack in a month, I have no time to ponder how far I've come and where I'm going. However, because tonight I feel extra emotional (as a result of a swelling wisdom teeth, which I find ironic + that time of the month again + a not surprisingly overwhelming schedule + lack of sleep) I have decided to engage in some self therapy. Even if it means waking up extra early tomorrow to read before my Corporate Tax class.

If you haven't noticed, I barely ever have the time to blog ever since I entered The Other Side. The last time I actually wrote something was in the summer- and even, then I was buried in tons of work. Quick update since then? Progress. I was accepted into my school's Law Review (yay!) but I transferred to a better school (YAY!). I got my first A+ in (who would've thought with all that ranting) Federal Income Tax! I got accepted to my school's 3 year JD/LLM program in Taxation. I am currently gaining more experience with more tax classes, doing VITA, working for the same Tax Attorney, and externing at the IRS. Cheers to progress and opportunities!

Okay, but the reality of it all, is I am burnt out. I finally got home from a long day of class at 11pm and took a shower to refresh to "study some more." However, after I got out of the shower (my only break of the day) I just stared into space. I was exhausted. I was tempted to hide in a corner and cry my eyes out, but I didn't want to waste precious time when I could be reviewing for my early class tomorrow. Yes, I couldn't fit crying into my tight schedule. But here I am. I decided to not bawl like a baby, but to rather act with the grace and poise of a mature adult... and complain to the abysmal online world of everybody and nobody.

I count each of my blessings each night, but oh how it's so hard to step back and see just the forest! All I see are trees and willows pushing me to the ground as I try to navigate my way through it all. What did Leann Womack even mean when she said never "settle for the path of least resistance." Why? Why make life so hard? It's times like these where I wish I had Grandmother Willow to remind me: "All around you are spirits, child. They live in the earth, the water, the sky. If you listen, they will guide you ... sometimes the right path is not the easiest one." But correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Pocahontas ended up leaving her tribe and following her heart to London only to contract smallpox and die? Ok, so that was a useless stream of consciousness.

I realized my initial agenda for this entry was to find hope in it all again, but I have digressed back to my corner. I guess I will have to save the inspirational entry for another day, because I am currently still feeling dull and unspired. Perhaps this recent immersion into the tax world has made me the exact stereotypical epitome of a boring Tax Lawyer with no pizzazz! I cannot let this happen. This transformation cannot lead to a Pocahontas ending. Ok, lack of sleep and delirium has made me bonkers.

I need to find peace and hope again and find it fast.

I call this: At one with Earth and Hermes....