But yesterday I watched this show called Celebrity Weddings, where everyday couples plan their weddings based on celebrity's weddings...and it was like chlorine polluting my preconceived pool of thoughts. I got a little ...sentimental. The emotional girly-shopaholic-lover of all fine things part of me submerged and was entrapped in the fairy tale idea of it all; ogling over everything, from the perfect Monique Lhuillier dress to the subtle Tiffany-esque décor of the reception. I shed a tear when the couple each took their deceased fathers wedding bands and melted it into their own wedding bands to declare some sort of symbol of a merge and acquisition of each others love…and then it went to commercial break and a cute Gerber’s baby was playing with her mommy on the living room floor…-and then I snapped out of it for the life of me.
What was I doing? A future lawyer doesn’t get emotional like this. If there’s anything I’ve learned so far, a lawyer is tough and objective and does not let the nonsense nature of emotions get the best of her. But my insides felt uneasy…It felt like something wasn’t right. I don’t want to be tough and mean and Omarosa…but at the same time I wanted to be a tough and successful lawyer. It was like an Oedipus Rex complex…how so? I’m not quite sure, but it’s comparable to that noxious idea of an incestuous act.
It’s always easier to follow a concrete path someone has already paved the way for and having that ideal role model to look up to and strive to become…but I have no such person I can think of. Not even Oprah whose putting Steadman and her expiring ovaries in the back burner…
I feel a lot of professional women moving up the ladder have had to make so many sacrifices- it be personality-wise or family-wise. They have to suppress their femininity (longer skirts; shorter hair; fight the ticking clock and the urge to say “oh it’s my female intuition”) in order to be taken seriously in a mainly male profession. I want to be able to leave my hair long and flowy, wear the things that best reflect who I am, follow my female instincts, have a family and be nurturing at home and still tough in the workplace. I want the best of both worlds.
I feel a lot of professional women moving up the ladder have had to make so many sacrifices- it be personality-wise or family-wise. They have to suppress their femininity (longer skirts; shorter hair; fight the ticking clock and the urge to say “oh it’s my female intuition”) in order to be taken seriously in a mainly male profession. I want to be able to leave my hair long and flowy, wear the things that best reflect who I am, follow my female instincts, have a family and be nurturing at home and still tough in the workplace. I want the best of both worlds.
In our world today, it may be rarer to find such a woman but I know down the road in my children’s generation there will be many women who will stay true to their maternal roles, yet find their to-be-defined Alpha-female position in the workforce.
The road’s not paved yet but I’m sure I'll be a part of the site construction... |
Paving the way... Nat |
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