For the last 6 weeks my schedule consists of waking up at 8am and studying straight until 5pm (yes, that's 9 hours straight). I would refresh and do yoga for an hour, eat dinner with my BF and relax a bit, and then go back to studying until 12pm (yes, that's another 3-4 hours). The next morning, repeat.
I finally lost my stamina and crashed last week. I started to doubt myself and thought of the possibility that I could possibly fail the bar despite all this hard work. . . What would I do? How would I have the time to retake it? Would I have to relive this nightmare? What would people think? How would I feel about myself?
Yes, I had my first spout of tears last week while I was studying, but I didn't stop. . . I just kept fighting through the tears. . . I think it was then that I realized how important it was to take a step back and just breathe . . . and not hold my breath the whole way through like I had been doing.
I feel so blessed to have a supportive BF who has tried so hard to accommodate my every needs and put up with my emotional rollercoaster. When I keep thinking about all the wrongs and horribles in my life, he reminds me of all the rights and wonderfuls, of all the things I've accomplished but keep underestimating . . .
After a rough tearful week, he made us dinner and suggested we eat outside our balcony for once - to take in the summer ocean breeze amidst our harbor view we take for granted. . . It was absolutely lovely and reminded me how important it was to have little moments like these, to take a step back and count my blessings.
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| via &soweramble |
To top it off, my friend Sara had surprised me with a "Care Package," full of wonderful goodies and pampering to get me through the last 3 weeks. She reminds me of why we all need a few great friends in our lives and the importance of making time for them (something I need to work on soon since I have been very self-absorbed in my studies throughout law school).
Nat
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