Future Under Construction...

Lately I've had my reservations about marriage....seeing all the soaring rates of unhappy marriages ending in divorce, the increasing infidelity, and even the devaluing of the institution of matrimony. I concluded loosely that I would focus on my career first and consider marriage at 29 or 30 years old- or maybe not at all…

But yesterday I watched this show called Celebrity Weddings, where everyday couples plan their weddings based on celebrity's weddings...and it was like chlorine polluting my preconceived pool of thoughts. I got a little ...sentimental. The emotional girly-shopaholic-lover of all fine things part of me submerged and was entrapped in the fairy tale idea of it all; ogling over everything, from the perfect Monique Lhuillier dress to the subtle Tiffany-esque décor of the reception. I shed a tear when the couple each took their deceased fathers wedding bands and melted it into their own wedding bands to declare some sort of symbol of a merge and acquisition of each others love…and then it went to commercial break and a cute Gerber’s baby was playing with her mommy on the living room floor…-and then I snapped out of it for the life of me.

What was I doing? A future lawyer doesn’t get emotional like this. If there’s anything I’ve learned so far, a lawyer is tough and objective and does not let the nonsense nature of emotions get the best of her. But my insides felt uneasy…It felt like something wasn’t right. I don’t want to be tough and mean and Omarosa…but at the same time I wanted to be a tough and successful lawyer. It was like an Oedipus Rex complex…how so? I’m not quite sure, but it’s comparable to that noxious idea of an incestuous act.

It’s always easier to follow a concrete path someone has already paved the way for and having that ideal role model to look up to and strive to become…but I have no such person I can think of. Not even Oprah whose putting Steadman and her expiring ovaries in the back burner…
I feel a lot of professional women moving up the ladder have had to make so many sacrifices- it be personality-wise or family-wise. They have to suppress their femininity (longer skirts; shorter hair; fight the ticking clock and the urge to say “oh it’s my female intuition”) in order to be taken seriously in a mainly male profession. I want to be able to leave my hair long and flowy, wear the things that best reflect who I am, follow my female instincts, have a family and be nurturing at home and still tough in the workplace. I want the best of both worlds.

In our world today, it may be rarer to find such a woman but I know down the road in my children’s generation there will be many women who will stay true to their maternal roles, yet find their to-be-defined Alpha-female position in the workforce.

The road’s not paved yet but I’m sure I'll be a part of the site construction...

Paving the way...
 Nat

Quintessential Fashionista? I think not...

Welcome to my blogosphere! I have been prolonging this blog for lack of a catchy title...not a very good excuse now huh? So it was now or never that I just wing it and hit the ground running here. I have blogged about fashion (http://lecocouturecafe.xanga.com/) and have considered attending FIDM (fashion institute of design and merchandise) but I had an epiphany months and months ago when I realized that maybe, just maybe mingling with Lagerfeld and Furstenburg at a charity gala isn't entirely feasible.

I am 22 and am at that stage in life where you just don't make statements like "When I grow up, I am going to be..." Now I must answer the inevitable question "What are you doing now that you graduated?" It's along the lines of "Okay, you're an adult now, what are you doing with your life?" To foreshadow where I'm getting at, I did come up with an answer - wow, such a small and petty word for such a major life-changing notion.

So quick backdrop of my life...I graduated UCLA double majoring in economics and Sociology within the course of 3 years so that I could take a year to study fashion. I also have spent some time in Paris in 2006 absorbed in the studies of fashion to realize that this would be my path. I admit I am a studious scholar by morning but a devoted fashionista by evening. I have felt compelled to dip my foot in both worlds in that I can puree my love for everything in the fashion industry with my interest in the intelligent world of academia. For some reason I feel that I have been left with an ultimatum and Frost is now asking me which road to choose... But you know what? I think he answered it for me too by suggesting to take (here comes the cliche...) the road less traveled. My first step into the yellow woods starts here :).

I am applying to Law School but am not entirely abandoning my roots...it's like keeping your real color but getting highlights. I am still an avid subscriber to Vogue, Cosmo, Glamour, Teen Vogue, Marie Claire, US Weekly, and Allure...faithful fan of ANTM and Project Runway...and an overall voyeur of the industry BUT I am adding flavor to this internalized superficiality...no surprise I know very little about Politics nor the upcoming election. No surprise that everything I know about Obama is from E! News and Oprah. No surprise that my only convo about McCain was his recent celebrity ad attack on Obama with Paris and Britney in it. Yes, your quintessential chick from OC to LA...up until now! I have been reading random political blogs and articles from CNN and trying to put the pieces of the puzzles together for myself. I don't reall understand...though I desperately want to understand...I want to learn about our current political affairs and have an opinion to voice. It is hard to speak a second language when my full assimilation has been on the other side of the world. They say Cheney I hear Chanel, they say "Battle of the Bulge" I hear diet, they say Sudan I hear sedan, They say Politics I hear Blahniks. I want to teach myself that there is a world and issues out there that I have been blinded to growing up from the world of Hollywood and The Hills.

So here it is! I am taking one day at a time and trying to learn one world and maintain the other because both will ultimately become my world, juxtaposition and all. You can say it's politics for dummies...with style. Au Revoir!