Confessions of an Average Twenty-Something

Vogue Italia July 2007

Hi my name is Natalie and I am your average twenty-something year old.  

I am still trying to figure out what it takes to push myself out of this state of mediocrity
 and into the realm of chic and creative fulfillment.  

I have a bucket list that I add on to –
But only when I know it’s feasible 
(because I don’t like to disappoint myself)

I’m interested in politics and would like to think I can be a young political correspondent like Nicole Lapin  –  
But my limited knowledge and opinions are really all borrowed from CNN and NPR.  

I like to think I’m a fashionista like MK and Ash – 
But law school stress equates to leggings and a tee that’s more hobo than hobo chic.  

I'd like to be an entrepreneur of a successful consignment business like Corri McFadden –
But I've only got a dream and literally a dollar.  

I practice yoga and would like to think I have the same passion for it like Tara Stiles  –  
But I only do it to stay in shape because I’m lazy and hate the pains of working out.  

I juice to detox – 
But then I defeat the purpose altogether by drinking coffee right after 
(with condense milk, because I’m Vietnamese).  

I love wine and feel sophisticated when I drink it – 
But I really like beer better so I sometimes drink it in a wine glass for the same effect.  

I like to imagine I’m sitting outside a quaint café by myself in red lipstick and an Hermès scarf, ordering a butter croissant and a café au lait with a French accent as I blog about my fancy life. . . 
But nope, I’m in my apartment eating ramen in my Target tights and tee, blogging about this life.   

"Youth is wasted on the Young" -George Bernard Shaw

Julia Everheart's hub "What I Wish I Had Known in My 20s" summons up some of the things I have been sporadically pondering in my blog for the last few years . . . and if I had to summon it all up 4 years later, I guess I would say the same things:   

Gemma Ward for Vogue UK July 2006
My favorite model and fashion spread!

"1. You're a hell of a lot prettier than you think you are. Time is on your side. Gravity hasn't worked you over like a rolling pin on bread dough and your metabolism still runs like a well-oiled machine. Your skin is still dewy and the parts of you that are supposed to be perky still are. Even if you have horrible self-confidence and you look in the mirror with disgust, I promise you, at some point in your life you will look back and realize you are taking for granted just how beautiful you are. Stop wasting your time being self-conscious and appreciate your youth. You can buy bigger breasts, smaller thighs, different colored hair, perfect nails, and a tan, but you can't buy youth. You can never get it back once it's gone. Appreciate it! With that said, let's move on to number two... 

2. Learn how to do something other than be pretty. Pretty girls are a dime a dozen. I mean, geez, who's not pretty in their 20's? You can check "Be Pretty" off your to do list and move on to something else. Physical beauty will only take you so far. There are a certain number of jobs and relationships which you can enter into based solely on how you look. However, very quickly you will have to contribute something beyond your appearance to be taken seriously in any job or relationship. Develop some skills. Learn how to make conversation with anyone. Learn how to speak to and listen to people in a way that makes them feel valued. If you're friendly and engaging, both men and women will be drawn to you. You will find that people are attracted to you in a way that has nothing to do with how you look. 

3. Aggressively check items off your 'Bucket List.' If you are single and unmarried in your twenties, then you have more time and money to devote to yourself than you will at any other point in your life. Even if you're so broke you can't pay attention, you still have only yourself to worry about feeding and clothing. When you get extra money, you can spend it on you. You can travel or learn to play guitar or take a job on a cattle ranch out west because it's just YOU; you're not responsible for feeding children or paying a mortgage and you don't have to haul a toddler everywhere you go. Enjoy your freedom. Do all the wild, spontaneous, adventurous things you possibly can because, let me tell you, a mortgage is a big buzz-kill and you'll have one before you know it! 

4. Stop competing with other women. I could write a book on this one. Women's solidarity is something sadly lacking in our society. We enjoy picking other women's bodies apart and finding their flaws because it makes us feel better about our own shortcomings. Why else do tabloids fly off the shelves when they have close-up's of celebrity cellulite? I call it "pernicious voyeurism." We are fascinated by women we percieve as more perfect than us and giddy when we discover they aren't so perfect after all. We really should be more supportive of each other. Quit worrying about who is prettier or thinner and learn to be happy for other women's success. When you can watch another woman lose 20 lbs, land a great job and get a hot boyfriend and you can be genuinely happy for her, then you will have accomplished something far greater than having perfect thighs. When you realize that life is not a competition and that other women's happiness and success does not exclude your own, then you are free to enjoy positive, uplifting friendships with other women. Believe me, you will go through some hard things in your twenties and good girlfriends are priceless in those times. When Mr. Not So Perfect dumps you or cheats on you, you're gonna need a shoulder to cry on. If you've been a good friend, you'll have a good friend when you need one. 

Gemma Ward for Vogue UK July 2006 

5. Don't sleep with married men. To clarify, this is not something I did in my twenties, but I saw plenty of my girlfriends get involved with married men. The number one reason you should not sleep with married men is because someday you will be married to one and you will hope and pray that he does not cheat on you. Karma is a ..., well, you know the saying. When a married man comes onto you, you may feel extremely flattered. You may assume that you are more attractive, sexier, more interesting than his wife. The truth is that when a married man flirts with you, it is not a reflection of his wife or of you, it is solely and absolutely a reflection of his lack of character. Have some respect for his wife and tell him to get lost. No married men would ever cheat if they could not find anyone to cheat with them! 

6. Do not (except in the most dire of circumstances) get a credit card. If you can't pay cash for it, you don't need it. Credit cards seem like easy money. They swipe so easily and you feel like a high roller picking up your friends' bar tabs, buying those $90 jeans that make your ass look amaaaaazing, and filling up the tank for an all-girls road trip. The problem is compound interest. Simply explained, if you don't pay the entire balance on your credit card every month, you end up paying interest on interest. So your $90 jeans turn into $300 or $400 jeans if you let the balance keep sliding from month to month. You will end up with a credit card bill far higher than the amounts you originally spent. Don't get screwed by compound interest! 

7. Get ready to retire. "Say what? I'm 23! I don't need to worry about retiring!" Yes, you absolutely do because if you start now, it will be much easier on you later. It's simple; you let compound interest work FOR you instead of against you. You do this by saving instead of spending. You should get an IRA retirement account as soon as possible because the longer the money sits in there, the more interest it earns. This time you're earning interest on interest instead of paying interest on interest. You can start saving a very small amount each month, say $25. By the time you turn 65 and you're ready to retire, that $25 will be worth hundreds of times its original amount. The key is to start early. The longer the money sits there, the more it's worth. If you wait until you're in your 30's or 40's to start saving for retirement, you will have to save much more aggressively because you've lost time. You need time to make your money grow, so start early! You won't regret it! 

8. Weigh out your career choices very carefully. Do you love doing something that doesn't pay well? Are you only looking at career choices that pay well and ignoring what you love? Think very carefully about what will bring you happiness. Are you the kind of person who can live in a small house, drive a used car and not have much left over after the bills are paid in exchange for getting to do what you love? If you are truly in love with your work, then the financial sacrifice is worth it. For many people, the money follows the passion. You will naturally be better at a job you love and you may be successful because of your passion. On the other hand, are you the type of person who puts a lot of value on material things? Do you want to live in a big house in a gated community, drive a luxury car, take exotic vacations and pursue expensive hobbies like golf or equestrian events? If you want to live this sort of life, then it's best to pursue a high-earning career even if your passion lies elsewhere. You have to weigh that out for yourself. But think carefully, because it's hard to switch careers and start over with something new once you've got kids and a giant stack of bills." 

via http://juliaeverheart.hubpages.com/hub/What-I-Wish-I-Had-Known-In-My-Twenties 

. . . and for all those reasons, I have decided to "unprivate" my blog . . .

Lessons to My Younger Self

via TheBeautyDepartment.com

"From the moment we are born as women, the world conspires to make us feel insecure about absolutely everything—the way we look, dress, talk, act." -Cindy Gallop  

"I picture myself as a young woman and realize what I would say to that young woman who was so intent on being “a good girl,” doing things perfectly, making sure everything was under control and the best it could be, feeling guilty about the smallest dust-up with a friend, worried about disappointing someone . . . I would tell her that she is OK as she is . . . I would lighten her load and tell her she doesn’t have to be perfect.  I would tell her to trust herself to be in the moment and not always on guard.  I would tell her to breathe, and not to waste time in worry and guilt . . . I would tell her not to be afraid to fail because every experience counts and will come in handy somehow, somewhere.  I would tell her to trust her honest heart and good soul.  In short, I would love her.  This I tell myself now, and anyone who will listen—to love and have faith in ourselves; this is the source of our energy, our joy, and our real power—and will lead us to speak in our true voices to the world." -Joyce Kulhawik  

". . . learning to avoid judging, learning to accept.  Aha!  All this time, I was the judge, and I thought I was the person being judged.  Imagine that.  Fear serves, and for the most part it serves you well.  But fear also limits you.  Test this by remembering a moment of great challenge, when you were not at your best.  Feel those unpleasant physical sensations—maybe nausea, or a rapid heart beat, or emptiness.  These sensations are evidence that you've given in to you fears." -Joanna Barsh 

"Chill out. There are lots of things to stress about, but there are many more things that you’ll miss if that stress consumes you" -Sandy Jen  

"Travel is a colorful metaphor for life.  There is something magical about falling asleep on a plane and waking up in a new city or a new country.  Each new day brings a unique sense of exploration . . . Travel initiates the child-like joy of discovering something new, novel, and memorable.  Just experiencing another way of life takes you out of yourself.  It forces you to adapt and to gain a new perspective.  . . when things go awry, it does not spell inevitable disaster.  Nearly all the time, you live to learn another day." -Jennifer Hill    

"You may not fully realize it now, but your 20s are amazing years.  You have endless time to yourself, and the world is still your oyster.  You’re old enough to think about adulthood but young enough to still have hopes, dreams, and idealism.  My advice to you is to capture those thoughts now—while they are stll emerging and while your brain still perceives the world that way." -Julie Bornstein

via Vogueweekend.com

via http://www.thedailymuse.com/founders/lessons-to-my-younger-self/

tickets booked for new york in february . . .

. . . to wave goodbye to the end of a quarter century . . . :(

Karlie Kloss for Free People 2012

"So no one told you life was gonna be this way. . ."

I met with the tax partner today and he was surprisingly nice! I didn't realize it until today, but instead of me trying to sell myself to the firm, I really felt as though they were trying to sell their firm to me! It was not at all an interview like I thought, where the executives try to make you sweat and see if you crack under pressure. . . It was more like a Q&A and I was asking all the questions. It does help that I have a JD and LLM under my belt at the end of the year ;)

I am actually confident that they will send me an offer! The offer however will be for the internship position and if they like my work I will inevitably be extended a full time offer as a - get this. . . a SENIOR TAX ASSOCIATE! "Senior!" I know! I have never felt so sure about my career and where I belong. I'm sure the work will be hard and challenging but I know I have so much to contribute and so much potential! Assuming I get this position, I will still nonetheless keep my options open with the Big 4. So that's the great news. The light at the end of the tunnel has never felt so much closer.

I celebrated the end of the day with a Friends marathon. Yes, I have the entire 10 seasons and have watched it all during rough patches in my life- it just happened to be on tv tonight. . . Nonetheless, it's the one series that still makes me laugh. What's ironic is that Friends started out as a group of friends in their 20s, trying to figure out who they are and struggling to figure out their career paths. As the seasons progress, and they reach their 30s or 40s, they have their careers set but they face different struggles. . . It's not to say that I've figured out my career, but I feel as though I'm on season 2. . . slowly coming into fruition of myself and having a good idea of direction.

I remember my post college years while I worked at Bloomingdale's, I was soo depressed and lost. I was watching Friends for hours and hours just to get away from the dreadful reality of how a graduate with two degrees can end up wrapping hundreds of Christmas gifts for big clients in a small little room on the upper floor of Bloomingdale's. Of course fast forward a year, I ended up at another company stuck in front of a computer all day doing the same repetitive task. . . and then I started this blog and tried to take life by the horns and create a game plan to steer me in the direction I wanted to be.

Then as my blog progressed and I'm still set on this path- I am right where I want to be. . .

Trust me, no matter how much I complain, I am truly soaking up all these struggles that will eventually make me become the person I want to become. I know, I know, it's about the journey and not the destination. I definitely don't want to know that my twenties flew out the door before I even had a chance to embrace it.

If I don't proceed this entry with a celebratory "I got the offer!" entry. . . then something is definitely wrong. . . because pigs will be flying outside my window if that's the case. That confident.

Anyways, I have a wedding to attend tomorrow- it's on a cruise ship, so it should be fun. Then I have a long weekend of school work.

Love,

Nat

Quintessential Fashionista? I think not...

Welcome to my blogosphere! I have been prolonging this blog for lack of a catchy title...not a very good excuse now huh? So it was now or never that I just wing it and hit the ground running here. I have blogged about fashion (http://lecocouturecafe.xanga.com/) and have considered attending FIDM (fashion institute of design and merchandise) but I had an epiphany months and months ago when I realized that maybe, just maybe mingling with Lagerfeld and Furstenburg at a charity gala isn't entirely feasible.

I am 22 and am at that stage in life where you just don't make statements like "When I grow up, I am going to be..." Now I must answer the inevitable question "What are you doing now that you graduated?" It's along the lines of "Okay, you're an adult now, what are you doing with your life?" To foreshadow where I'm getting at, I did come up with an answer - wow, such a small and petty word for such a major life-changing notion.

So quick backdrop of my life...I graduated UCLA double majoring in economics and Sociology within the course of 3 years so that I could take a year to study fashion. I also have spent some time in Paris in 2006 absorbed in the studies of fashion to realize that this would be my path. I admit I am a studious scholar by morning but a devoted fashionista by evening. I have felt compelled to dip my foot in both worlds in that I can puree my love for everything in the fashion industry with my interest in the intelligent world of academia. For some reason I feel that I have been left with an ultimatum and Frost is now asking me which road to choose... But you know what? I think he answered it for me too by suggesting to take (here comes the cliche...) the road less traveled. My first step into the yellow woods starts here :).

I am applying to Law School but am not entirely abandoning my roots...it's like keeping your real color but getting highlights. I am still an avid subscriber to Vogue, Cosmo, Glamour, Teen Vogue, Marie Claire, US Weekly, and Allure...faithful fan of ANTM and Project Runway...and an overall voyeur of the industry BUT I am adding flavor to this internalized superficiality...no surprise I know very little about Politics nor the upcoming election. No surprise that everything I know about Obama is from E! News and Oprah. No surprise that my only convo about McCain was his recent celebrity ad attack on Obama with Paris and Britney in it. Yes, your quintessential chick from OC to LA...up until now! I have been reading random political blogs and articles from CNN and trying to put the pieces of the puzzles together for myself. I don't reall understand...though I desperately want to understand...I want to learn about our current political affairs and have an opinion to voice. It is hard to speak a second language when my full assimilation has been on the other side of the world. They say Cheney I hear Chanel, they say "Battle of the Bulge" I hear diet, they say Sudan I hear sedan, They say Politics I hear Blahniks. I want to teach myself that there is a world and issues out there that I have been blinded to growing up from the world of Hollywood and The Hills.

So here it is! I am taking one day at a time and trying to learn one world and maintain the other because both will ultimately become my world, juxtaposition and all. You can say it's politics for dummies...with style. Au Revoir!