I never thought I would turn a quarter century until you finally came. As you await your attack in a month, I have no time to ponder how far I've come and where I'm going. However, because tonight I feel extra emotional (as a result of a swelling wisdom teeth, which I find ironic + that time of the month again + a not surprisingly overwhelming schedule + lack of sleep) I have decided to engage in some self therapy. Even if it means waking up extra early tomorrow to read before my Corporate Tax class.
If you haven't noticed, I barely ever have the time to blog ever since I entered The Other Side. The last time I actually wrote something was in the summer- and even, then I was buried in tons of work. Quick update since then? Progress. I was accepted into my school's Law Review (yay!) but I transferred to a better school (YAY!). I got my first A+ in (who would've thought with all that ranting) Federal Income Tax! I got accepted to my school's 3 year JD/LLM program in Taxation. I am currently gaining more experience with more tax classes, doing VITA, working for the same Tax Attorney, and externing at the IRS. Cheers to progress and opportunities!
Okay, but the reality of it all, is I am burnt out. I finally got home from a long day of class at 11pm and took a shower to refresh to "study some more." However, after I got out of the shower (my only break of the day) I just stared into space. I was exhausted. I was tempted to hide in a corner and cry my eyes out, but I didn't want to waste precious time when I could be reviewing for my early class tomorrow. Yes, I couldn't fit crying into my tight schedule. But here I am. I decided to not bawl like a baby, but to rather act with the grace and poise of a mature adult... and complain to the abysmal online world of everybody and nobody.
I count each of my blessings each night, but oh how it's so hard to step back and see just the forest! All I see are trees and willows pushing me to the ground as I try to navigate my way through it all. What did Leann Womack even mean when she said never "settle for the path of least resistance." Why? Why make life so hard? It's times like these where I wish I had Grandmother Willow to remind me: "All around you are spirits, child. They live in the earth, the water, the sky. If you listen, they will guide you ... sometimes the right path is not the easiest one." But correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Pocahontas ended up leaving her tribe and following her heart to London only to contract smallpox and die? Ok, so that was a useless stream of consciousness.
I realized my initial agenda for this entry was to find hope in it all again, but I have digressed back to my corner. I guess I will have to save the inspirational entry for another day, because I am currently still feeling dull and unspired. Perhaps this recent immersion into the tax world has made me the exact stereotypical epitome of a boring Tax Lawyer with no pizzazz! I cannot let this happen. This transformation cannot lead to a Pocahontas ending. Ok, lack of sleep and delirium has made me bonkers.
I need to find peace and hope again and find it fast.
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I call this: At one with Earth and Hermes.... |
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