An intense tax class that requires hundreds of pages of reading per week and review to be competitive in a small class of older and more experienced people than myself. A full-time research assistant position for a Dean whose a Harvard scholar who expects nothing but the best and on a subject I know absolutely nothing about- philosophical underpinnings of court rulings on executive compensation? A part time internship for a CPA-Attorney who gives me legal projects I have never dealt with and my need to prove that I can be better than the next intern. A boyfriend who thinks I invest nothing in our relationship. Dwindling friends who never see me anymore. Family who has no idea about half of what I'm going through and three dramatic sisters.
I am overwhelmed.
I always take on more than I can handle and I promise each person that I will give my 110% effort. But there are only so many hours in the day and there is so much I can achieve without burning myself out. When I spread myself so thin, I get mediocre feedback and then that brings me down and the hours I can be working on other projects I use moping and dwelling on why I performed so poorly. So I run in circles chasing my own tail and end up where I started with little progress.
It's easy to go about my life being the next average Jane and just be content with mediocrity, but I choose to be even more and drink more cups of coffee than the average Joe. I'm never content because I never accomplish my list of things because it's always so long and then I kick myself for being so idle by devoting only 15 hrs of my day and not 20 hours. My solution... Don't sleep.
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| Love, Negative Natalie |
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